


Bored

by LaKoda0518



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms, Sherlock Holmes - Arthur Conan Doyle
Genre: Accents, British Slang, Disguise, Established Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, John Watson Misses Sherlock Holmes, M/M, Mutual Masturbation, Phone Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Sex Games, Sexting, Sherlock Being Sherlock, Sherlock Holmes Misses John Watson, Vacation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:33:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25017049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaKoda0518/pseuds/LaKoda0518
Summary: John is away; a bored Sherlock is on a case with a new accent as a disguise. John is intrigued and suggests a sexy guessing game to spice things up.
Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson
Comments: 20
Kudos: 113
Collections: Johnlock on Holiday 2020 Collection





	Bored

**Author's Note:**

> I have to apologise for putting you all through this 😅 After playing this game myself, I couldn't wait to put the boys in this situation and they were willing to get dirty lol it's all their horny little faults! That is all 🤣
> 
> Special thanks to my friends for helping push me to get this done! Also a HUGE about of excitement as this kicks off the Johnlock on Holiday challenge! We've all been stuck at home due to Covid. Our vacations have all been ruined so it's going to be fun to love vicariously through these handsome guys for a while! 😍😘

SH: Bored.

JW: Thought you were on a case?

SH: Still bored.

JW: I'm just getting back to Harry's. The wedding was lovely by the way, thanks for asking.

SH: It was your second cousin, John. Not exactly the event of the season.

JW: It still wouldn't hurt you to be courteous.

SH: I prefer to reserve my courtesies for more pressing matters.

JW: You're stuck in that hotel again, aren't you? The one you got us chucked out of last time because you were convinced that the owner's wife had been poisoning certain patrons?

SH: Her behavior was extremely suspicious

JW: You kissed her

SH: I was certain it was in the lipstick

JW: Lol you're a terror

SH: "Lol"?

JW: Yeah, "laughing out loud"

SH: Ah, an initialism... Dull

JW: Dick 🙄

SH: What the hell is that?

JW: What the hell is what?

SH: That face.

JW: It's an emoji 😅😩😜

SH: Oh for God's sake…

JW: 😘😘😘

SH: Seriously?

JW: What? 

SH: Kissing faces

JW: 😋🍆🤤

SH: … John?

JW: Yeah? 😏

SH: You're an idiot

JW: 🖕

SH: That was rude

JW: It was meant to be

SH: Did it work on your girlfriends?

JW: What?

SH: The emojis

JW: Why else do you think I learned to use them?

SH: Ah, I see

JW: You see what?

SH: Your reasoning behind the emojis

JW: Ha. What "reasoning" are you assuming I had for them then?

SH: Sex

JW: 🙄 Unbelievable. Sherlock, you do realize that I'm more than capable of getting a shag in without the use of coded text messages don't you? For fuck's sake, I shagged you through the mattress our first time and not once did I ever send you a bloody emoji

SH: True, but I am also not a woman nor am I particularly keen on texting

JW: You said you prefer to text

SH: Yes, preferring to as opposed to making a telephone call is a far cry from being "keen on"

JW: Right… but you're texting me now

SH: Because you're not here

JW: Ah… so you miss me 🙃

SH: Don't be daft

JW: Lol why else then?

SH: I've already told you: I'm bored

JW: Because I'm not there?

SH: Yes

JW: I'll take it 😘

SH: I will block you

JW: Lol fine… how's the case coming along?

SH: As easily as expected. Will have everything wrapped up by late evening tomorrow. The disguise is hellish though

JW: oh? What is it this time? Cabby? Butcher? Chorus girl? Lol

SH: Cockney

JW: Oh God lol

SH: Not even religious deities could help these people. Honestly, why can't they just speak like normal people?

JW: Well, it's a bit of history isn't it? Old London and all that

SH: It's stupid. What with all the rhyming and ridiculous verbal roundabouts. Just say what you mean for God's sake

JW: Rhyming? Lol you've not seriously learned the slang have you?

SH: Unfortunately

JW: Well, I admire your dedication

SH: You jest

JW: I do lol I jest a lot actually haha 

SH: Mmm

JW: All right, seriously, though. Come on. Give us a taste, yeah? What have you learned?

SH: No

JW: Aw, come on, don't shoot me down like that. Please? I'll make it worth your while. Can even make a game out of it if you like. You love games

SH: Hmm, if you insist… I suppose I could give you a few examples.

JW: Sounds good to me lol I can try to guess them if you like. You know, like, guess what they mean 

SH: Yes, John, I was aware of what you meant.

JW: Prat. Come on, then, give us the first one.

SH: Hmm… All right. I'll start with what I learned first. Since my suspected target is the victim's estranged wife, I decided that flattery would serve me better than intelligent conversation. For instance, I might use a line like "You've got lovely Hampsteads" to compliment her.

JW: Hampsteads? As in Hampstead Heath?

SH: Yes, it's rhyming, John. Not rocket science

JW: Oi! Give us a minute, yeah? Not all of us are geniuses, you twat. Now, let me think…

SH: Fine

JW: Heath…. Teeth! You've got lovely teeth?

SH: Mm, loosely translated, yes. It means "I like your smile".

JW: lol so strange… wonder why they don't just say "I like your smile"? Seems so much simpler

SH: Indeed. Interestingly enough, however, it seems to come from an old pirate code if the rumours are to be believed.

JW: Huh. You learn something new every day.

SH: Perhaps.

JW: All right, give me another one.

SH: Nice mince pies.

JW: Hmm… eyes?

SH: Very good, John.

JW: I would say thank you but you're mocking me, aren't you?

SH: Not in the slightest. I'm only wondering how this is supposed to be a game. Without incentives or consequences, it's hardly a game.

JW: True. What are you suggesting then? You want to reward me for getting them right? 😏

SH: If you forego the use of those ridiculous faces from this point on, I'll consider it.

JW: Done. Lol How would you like to reward me?

SH: That depends… are you alone?

JW: Yeah, in the spare bedroom. Why?

SH: Well… I suppose we could experiment if you'd like.

JW: Go on

SH: What would you say to a bit of a physical wager? 

JW: Hmm… if you mean what I think you mean, then I can't see why I would argue lol

SH: And what do you think I mean?

JW: Well, if I may speak bluntly, I really hope you mean that, for every guess I get right, there will be some form of sexual gratification in it for me

SH: Ah

JW: Am I right or were you thinking something a bit less risqué since I'm away? 

SH: No, no, that's… fine

JW: You sure? I don't want to pressure you into anything just because I'm in the mood to mess around a bit lol I know you have a case on

SH: Weddings arouse you then? Interesting.

JW: Not necessarily weddings but the romantic atmosphere does spark the intimacy a bit…

SH: Ah, I see...

SH: John? 

JW: Yeah?

SH: Get into bed.

JW: Okay…

JW: Done

SH: Good… Are you dressed?

JW: Not anymore

SH: Good.

JW: So… how do you want to…?

SH: I'll give you a word or phrase and you try to guess the correct meaning just as you were before. If you get it right, I'll reward you with an appropriate command. 

JW: Mmm... Okay… and if I get it wrong?

SH: Then there will be an equal yet appropriate consequence…

JW: Christ…

SH: Problem?

JW: Not at all… just… tell me what you want to do

SH: I'll start, obviously.

SH: I'll give you a phrase again.

SH: You've got a nice set of Scotch eggs there.

JW: Scotch eggs? Um….

SH: Yes, John. Do keep up…

JW: Legs?

SH: Very good… 

SH: Are you hard, John?

JW: Mostly…

SH: Good… you can brush your fingers up and down your shaft but you may not grip yourself or stroke yourself in any manner until I tell you to do so. I'll know if you do…

JW: Yes, sir…

SH: So… what are you doing, John? 

JW: I'm trailing the tips of my fingers over my cock just like you said. 

SH: And how does it feel?

JW: Nice… tempting… teasing…

SH: Good. Moving on.

SH: I think I'll pop around the shops in search of a new tit for tat.

JW: Tit for tat?

SH: Excellent repetition, John. Perhaps you should entertain the idea of life as a parrot rather than a blogger.

JW: Shut up, you arse, and let me think

SH: Fine.

JW: Hat?

SH: Finally. I thought you'd never get it.

JW: Just tell me what I can do, now. You're spoiling the mood.

SH: I apologise.

JW: Wow. That's something I don't hear every day. I think I'll save it.

SH: Ha

SH: Brush your fingertips up and over your shaft again but, this time, be sure to trail them over the tip.

JW: Mmm… Feels nice…

SH: I'm glad to hear it

JW: Can I keep doing it?

SH: Yes. Just don't let it distract you. You'll need to think clearly for the next one and I'll take the touch away if you get it wrong.

JW: Yes, sir

SH: Now, let's try something a bit different: There's too many bloody Septics on the tube these days. 

JW: Septics?

SH: Septic tanks

JW: Christ… um…

SH: Think rude tourists…

JW: Ah, rude tourists are typically Americans. So… Yanks?

SH: Very well done, John. 

JW: Jesus, that one was a bit difficult.

SH: Indeed. They don't always use the full phrase when conversing so I may skip some of the words in the next few questions but, for now, grip yourself for me and imagine my hand instead of your own.

JW: Fuck… Already thinking of you… 

SH: Good… now, stroke yourself slowly, but make sure to brush your thumb over the tip… imagine my tongue teasing you.

JW: Oh God, yes…

SH: Nice?

JW: You have no idea

SH: Oh, but I think I might.

JW: Are you really?

SH: Yes

JW: Fuck me…

SH: As soon as you're home.

JW: Oh, I'm counting on it.

JW: The great Sherlock Holmes is rubbing one out over my text messages… I'm certainly a lucky man.

SH: Are you ready for another one?

JW: I'm ready for you, I know that.

SH: Careful, John.

JW: Why? Am I getting to you? 

JW: Knew I was touching myself and thinking of you and that gorgeous mouth of yours and you just couldn't help yourself, could you?

SH: Let's go for a drink. I'll have a Vera Lynn.

JW: Avoiding the question. Good tactic… Gin?

SH: Of course

JW: Mmm… so… where do we go from here?

SH: Lubricate your palm and stroke yourself at your usual pace. Thumb your slit on the upstroke just as you did before and think about how full and thick you would feel in my mouth.

JW: Oh fuck, Sherlock…

SH: Are you doing it?

JW: Yes…

JW: What are you doing while I imagine you tonguing at my slit?

SH: Stroking myself

JW: "Obviously" lol

SH: Very droll, John…

JW: Seriously, I'm falling apart over here just thinking about you lying in bed with your hand in your pants… Just tell me what you're doing. Please?

SH: I'm in my chair. 

JW: Oh… Nice. Trousers down or just unbuttoned?

SH: Unbuttoned

JW: Mmm sexy… Thinking about what I was doing made you hard, didn't it?

SH: Yes. I needed to relieve the pressure.

JW: By wanking

SH: John…

JW: Yes, Sherlock?

SH: Are you close?

JW: Are you?

SH: Mm, one more with a bit of a challenge. I won't allow you to come unless you get it exactly right.

JW: Fucking hell, love...

SH: Ah… you are close. The pet names are starting to slip out.

JW: Give me the last one.

SH: Patience, John… Think about my tongue swirling around your shaft, tasting every inch of your skin as I take you deep in my mouth. Tighten your grip a bit and increase your pace…

JW: Oh, God… I won't last… Please

SH: Alright… but remember you can't come until I say so.

SH: Went down the apples, opened the door, and walked up the frog to the rub a dub and ordered a pig's ear. On the way back, I got a hole in me Rhythm n Blues, so I said to me mate 'I’m going to buy myself a new whistle'.

JW: Fuck that's a mouthful…

SH: Yes, you are…

JW: Cheeky… Hmm… Rub a dub is pub?

SH: Indeed… 

JW: Pig's ear… uh beer?

SH: Correct again… Amazing how motivating the thought of having one's erection fondled can actually be.

JW: Pfft… like you're not thinking the same

SH: Actually, I'm motivating myself with thoughts of doing the pleasuring. What a glorious sight it is to have you melting beneath me, begging for my cock as I suck and tease you until your words dwindle off into a mess of mumbled nonsense. It's quite entrancing if I do say so myself.

JW: God, Sherlock… that isn't exactly fair… I'm trying to think.

SH: Ah, well I'd advise you to think quickly, John… I won't last much longer…

JW: Fuck… okay… Rhythm n Blues - Shoes… Frog is a lot like toad so road?

SH: Very good, John… just a few more… I can taste your cock already, you know? I've memorized the very taste of your release and stored it away in my mind palace

JW: Sherlock…

SH: Keep guessing, John…

JW: Whistle… Fuck, what is whistle?

SH: Think… It's a phrase: Whistle and flute...

JW: Suit

SH: Excellent. So very close, John… shall I shout your name when I come?

JW: Christ, what's left? Am I missing something?

SH: Apples, John… Think fruit. Apples… Pears…

JW: Apples… and pears… Stairs?

SH: Brilliant, John… absolutely fantastic. I want you to let yourself go. You're on your back, begging me to ruin you. My head is bobbing up and down on your cock, lapping at your slit every time I reach the tip. I can't get enough of your taste, the feel of your skin on my tongue…

JW: Fuck, Sherlock… so close… 

SH: That's it… Come for me… Come in my mouth… Shout my name. Let everyone know who owns you…

JW: Sherlock… Gonna come…

SH: Beautiful, John… Absolutely perfect… I've already come… all over that wine colored shirt that you love so much… I couldn't even be bothered to take it off

JW: Christ, Sherlock… I nearly woke the whole bloody house…

SH: Are you alright?

JW: Of course… That was amazing… and I miss you so much…

SH: Likewise…

JW: God, what I wouldn't give to kiss your face and trail my fingers through the mess on your shirt. I'd love to help clean you up

SH: Mmm, just save it for tomorrow. You'll be home then?

JW: Yes, I'm on the two 'o' clock, right after lunch with Aunt Judith. 

SH: Ah… So, tomorrow night then

JW: Yes… tomorrow night… and I hope you're ready to do that all over again

SH: Most definitely

*3 minutes pass without response*

SH: John?

*Another 2 minutes pass. No response*

JW: Sorry, love, I'm here. Harry was at the door… Thought I'd had a bloody nightmare so I had to do a quick clean up using the sheets 🤦🏼♂️ Better get up early and throw the laundry in before I go if I'm going to hide that...

SH: You're joking?

JW: Not in the slightest… that could have been extremely embarrassing…

SH: Or extremely enlightening on Harry's part.

JW: Shut up

SH: John?

JW: Yeah?

SH: I… Well, what I mean to say is… It's not been the same without you here

JW: I miss you, too, Sherlock 🙂

SH: Ah… good… That's good

JW: Good 🙂 I better get some sleep so I can be good and rested for you once I'm home. I'll see you tomorrow, all right?

SH: All right. Tomorrow.

JW: Goodnight, love

SH: Goodnight, John

*10 minutes pass without response*

SH: John?

JW: Hmm?

SH: I love you…

JW: I love you, too 😘


End file.
